The Diary of Tolwyn
by Tolwyn
Summary: From "Daughter of Eomer", it's the journal of everyone's favorite little princess! Reading Daughter of Eomer first is suggested, because you probably won't understand otherwise.
1. Speelling problums

((excuse the bad spelling, she is only 9 after all.))

June 25th, 3036

Helo litle book. Leson-mastr gave yu to me for my nineth birthdae. He sade tu wryt in yu wen I wantd. I just lerned how tu wryt. Mama sade I am a gud wrytr. Elfwin and papa du not cair. Thay never cair. I wil wryt latr. Gudby!

September 9th 3036

I snuck out agin tuday. Lesons ar so boring. Outsid is fun. My freinds du not hav tu take lesons. Papa calls thim "comonrs" and dus not like thim much. But I like thim. Thay ar my freinds. We play in the stri ster strets of the citty al day.

November 18th 3036

I snuck out agin. I allways git ce cot caut by the gards. My prity dreses must be wat gits me caut. Thay git torn and dirti somtyms tho wen I am playing. Wen I git caut and papa wants tu po pau punish me mama allways savs me. Elfwin just syts ther. Watevr he si sy sees wen he gos with the Ridrs must hav made hym qyet.


	2. The tenth year

May 23rd 3037

Dear diary,

I cut my hair! I was tired of geting caught, so I put on Elfwine's clothes and cut my hair realy short when I snuck out. The guards did not find me at all untill I came home by myself. Papa AND mama were mad at me. But Elfwine laughed! I have not heard him laugh since we were little.

Now that I look at the first few entries I see my spelling was atru atrao atrocious. Lessons-master taught me well over the winter months and now that I'm almost ten years old I can spell good. My handwriting is geting better to. Well now I am in my room being punished for cuting my hair. I am crying a lot. I deserve it I guess. I look realy silly now to.

July 20th 3037

You'll never guess what Elfwine did today! Our cousins from Ithilen and our aunt and uncle are visiting for a few days. We were walking around the city with our cousins and they started teasing me because of my hair. Elfwine told them to stop it. Even though he is barely around he is still a good brother. Our cousins would not stop, so then Elfwine did a very bad thing. He punched them in their noses! They started crying loud, and their noses started bleeding, and Elfwine was realy sorry and we helped them back to our house quik. They were sent to the healing room and Elfwine was yelled at by papa a lot.

Aunt Eowin is here. She is papa's sister. I remember when I was little and papa told me the story of what she did in the big War. She only broke her arm that she carried a shield on. But everyone thought that was heroik and praised her. I like her a lot. She told me later in the day when we were by ourselves that I reminded her so much of papa. She says I get everything but my fi fea femininity from him. She also said that I am as brave and fierce as him too. Papa used to tell me I was like aunt Eowin, trying to be a boy and running away. I guess I'm like both of them? O well. Cousins are leaving tomoro so I have to go spend time with them.

December 5th 3037

Dear Diary,

I snuck out again. I got bored playing though. So I went to the city gates. I didn't go outside them but insted went up into the watchtower. I got to look at the country. It's realy pretty. I like Rohan. There's rolling hills of long grass, good grass that the horses like to eat. The sky is a beautiful blu and nothing is blocking its view. On the southern horizon are the glittery white mountains and just west of the city are the misty mountains. The misty mountains stretch north for forever. Papa says they go past even Dunland and Fangorn. Papa's been to both those places, and to the mountains, all with Elfwine. They sound realy scary. I don't think I ever want to go there.

January 19th 3038

Dear diary,

Mama has been walking around outside lately. She likes to talk with all the "commoners". She's friends with a lot of them. They all love her, and she is a great queen to them. But today she is sick. She is coughing and sneezing a whole lot and has to stay in bed. Papa is being crazy, and thinking mama is sick just because she visits the "commoners". Papa doesn't seem to like them much. They're just people.

March 12th 3038

Dear diary,

Mama hasn't gotten any better. She keeps getting sicker and sicker and has to stay in a bed in the healing room all the time now. That's why the King of Gondor is here today. Papa became good friends with him in the War, and calls him "Aragorn". But everyone else calls him "King Elessar". I haven't talked to him at all. I only saw him arriving and going into papa's throne room. Only him and a few of his servants are here.

Since mama isn't here to stop papa from punishing me, I get sent to my room when I run away from lessons. Papa and Elfwine seem very busy. They have to stay home because of mama, so all the Riders come to papa when they have a problem. Papa's throne is sometimes surrounded by a bunch of angry old men. He doesn't like politiks much, he used to always tell mama that when she was well.

March 17th, 3038

Papa seemed very distracted today. I saw the healers talking a lot among themselves, and they told papa something too. I think they are talking about mama. I want to know what is going on, but no one will tell me. Papa just mumbled today at the guards when I was caught. I got sent to my room again, and fell asleep very bored and hungry.

I just woke up from a bad dream, that's why I am writing. It was a horrible nightmare. I've never had one like it before. Horrible shadows came, and my family was killed, and blood was everywhere. I hated it, and it made me cry. I am going to the healing rooms right now. I need my mama to talk to. She's the only one that will listen.


	3. Growing Pains

February 4th, 3039

My life is forfeit. Mama died the very same night I wrote the last entry. She was the only person ever to protect me. Elfwine promised to at the funeral, but as always he is away with papa and can never fulfil that promise.

I am twelve years old now. After mama died, papa sent me to a lessons room with no windows so I couldn't run away. At the funeral when I tried to look to him for comfort, he glared down at me. I don't know why he did it. It made me cry.

I am in the lessons room all day. I am learning a lot but I am not happy at all. I don't think I've smiled at all since mama died. I miss her so much.

March 18th 3041

I snuck out last night. I couldn't stand being inside any longer. I had to do something. I put on Elfwine's old clothes again and climbed out my window. It was a hard climb but I made it. I ran the whole way to the gates. I was crying and fell a few times. I stepped outside the gates for the first time in my life. It's been three years since mama's death, and I need her now. Stuff is happening, and I am growing in different ways, and papa and Elfwine can't help me. So I found mama's grave among all the old king's graves. I cried for a while, and left a simbelmyne flower when I was done. I need Mama…

April 6th 3041

Dear diary,

Today papa took me and Elfwine to the royal stables. Twin Mearas were just born yesterday and papa showed them to us. He promised one to each of us. Since we have royal blood, we can ride them. Papa promised Elfwine the bigger, stronger, white colt. I get the regular brown colt. If I didn't know it was a Meara, I'd think it was just a plain horse. Oh well. It's name is Baldor, the same name as the child of the king that ran away and never came back. I hope my horse doesn't run away.

I've been sneaking out a lot, almost every night. I love being outside. There's no veil between me and the stars. The soft grass is like a carpet, the darkness a welcoming cover. And the wind… I swear it feels like mama's hand brushing my tears away when it blows. I miss her comforting touch, the way she used to hug me tight when I was scared. I wish she could somehow come back, or I could go to her. But it is impossible. I will have to wait, like she said.


	4. Riding a horse is harder than it looks

((authors note: Reodwyn and Morwyn belong to my bestest friedn Melt (melody), don't steal them or we will send a rapping puppy after you :-P enjoy))

June 26th, 3041

Dear diary,

A few nights ago when I snuck out, Elfwine caught me. He really surprised me. He took me back into the city, and talked to me in secret. He seems to know what I now desire. My deepest wish, my secret longing. I've never written it in here before. But it is to be free. To leave this city and my life and never come back. Go with the Riders to places far away, conquer enemies, be a hero. Elfwine says he saw the look in my eyes. So he promised to teach me how to ride and fight. He is home a lot more these days. It appears the remaining enemy is in hiding, or decided to leave us all alone. So every night Elfwine will teach me what I've always wanted to learn.

My fourteenth birthday was yesterday. My lessons have now changed. Instead of sitting in that room all day, I learn different things. Like how to sing, and how to heal different things. I am glad for the change. I hate that room more than anything else. But I don't know why I am learning these things. It doesn't seem like I will ever use them. The minstrel's daughter, Reodwyn, who is teaching me how to sing, is very nice. We actually grew up together in a way. If I ever had a best friend, it would be her. But I have been locked away for so long. The only times I used to see her were when I was little and running away. Papa always treated her like he treats all "commoners"; never talking to her, except to give commands. But now that we will most likely be spending every day together, we talk together often. She somehow will manage to teach me how to sing, though I don't know how.

August 21st, 3041

Dear diary,

The lessons Elfwine teach me aren't as easy as I thought. When I was very little I would always stand on the steps of the Golden Hall with mama and watch the eoreds ride away whenever papa left. I would admire the way horse and rider were one, how strong all the men were. Mama would wave to papa, and blow him a kiss, and after they were out of sight we would go inside. Riding always looked so easy when I watched them. You just sat on a horse, and it would move. But that is not the case, as I have learned. You have to position your feet, sit up straight, try to move with the horse. I have bruises in unmentionable places from spending hours a night in a saddle. Elfwine says I am finally getting it. I can now trot and not fall off. I can also block a lot of attacks with my sword, and shoot at some targets. Elfwine says there's a lot more though. I have to learn to shoot at moving targets too, and targets far away, and learn to shoot while riding. This is going to take forever.

I have been going outside a lot for lessons. I talk to the townspeople every day. I have become reacquainted with the many childhood friends I had. One girl in particular, Morwyn, the half-Elf, with whom I used to spend all day with. She has a sad life though. Her Elven mother died because of her birth, and her father never forgave her for it. Her father is also a drunkard, and Morwyn has scars from the horrid nights when he would come home and beat her. But she has the same dream as I do. She is training herself, and plans to join an the Riders in disguise when she can ride well enough. Perhaps I will go with her, perhaps not. I don't know what the future holds.


	5. Finishing Life's Lessons

October 30th 3041

Dear diary,

Today I spent almost all day in the city for lessons. I talked to a lot of the people in the market. I am getting to know a lot of them well. There is the washerwoman, she's a little gossipy though; and there's the tailor, and the farmers, and every kind of worker. They are nice and friendly, almost every one of them. But there are those Eorlingas that aren't nice. Now that I'm grown, and a woman almost, my dresses are different. They seem to show off this new body I have. I don't like them much, but the seamstresses don't care about what I like. The "bad" Eorlingas are those dark men that lurk in the alleyways. They are always staring at me, a greedy look in their eyes. They scare me, and I am glad I have guards nearby. I get away from those alleyways as fast as I can.

A week ago I made the minstrel very proud. I sang the song of Eorl perfectly. I have been learning it with help from Reodwyn all autumn. Papa and Elfwine were there to hear me too. Elfwine smiled at me, I could tell he was proud of me too. But papa seemed to be thinking of other things. I don't think he's talked to me in years. I wish he would.

April 29th, 3042

Dear diary,

I realize that I have not written for a while. I have learned so much in the time between entries. I can now gallop bareback, and ride on a Meara. Elfwine turned 18 last month and let me try to ride Aldor, his Meara, for lessons. I fell off many, many times that night. I never did mount him successfully. But sometime later in lessons I did. Elfwine is teaching me all about caring for Mearas. They are the lords of all horses, no man can saddle them, and they will only let those descended from Eorl himself ride them.

I can fight Elfwine with the sword now. I've almost beaten him a few times. Well, actually, it was only once, and he was tired that night. But I still almost beat him. I can also do most of the shooting I mentioned last time. Elfwine taught me the difference between using the bow as a weapon and using it as a hunting tool. I think I prefer the sword to the bow and arrow. Sometimes it just seems cowardly to stand far off and shoot enemies in the back. I would rather face them bravely, beat them down with all my strength. Elfwine agrees with this.

Speaking of Elfwine, he seems to be fulfilling his promise to me. I love learning how to fight. If only I could get out of the city and travel, then I could test these new-found skills. I learned in my earlier lessons about every place in Middle Earth. There are wonderful places, and unexplored land, and the Sea. Mama grew up by the Sea. She used to tell me stories about it when I was a child. Her father, my grandfather, is the Prince of a city there. I've never met him, or any of the uncles she used to tell me about. I want to go there someday. Mama used to talk about how the waves would roll in, how each one would be different but they were all still the same. She would describe how the icy water sucked the sand from beneath her bare feet when she stood on the beach. How she would squeal at the coldness, and run back to her papa's waiting arms.

I miss mama constantly. I am grown now, I know it. I need her to talk to. I always talk to Reodwyn and Morwyn when I can, but both of them seem so distant. We've grown apart, even though we used to be the closest of friends. Oh well, I suppose it is for the best, and everything will make sense in the end. Whenever the end is.

June 24th, 3042

Dear diary,

My 15th birthday is tomorrow. I just finished lessons today. All my lessons, over. There is nothing more to learn. Elfwine says there is going to be a celebration tomorrow. I haven't had a birthday party since mama was alive. Elfwine says he has a surprise for me, but it will have to wait till late tomorrow night. He hinted that it has to do with what he has been teaching me. I hope it is a weapon, or a test of my skills, or something. I also get Baldor tomorrow too. He's grown up, but he's still the regular-looking Meara. But he will be mine! I can't wait!

In one of my entries I mentioned Aunt Eowyn. I spelled her name wrong, but I was young. What I just found out is that the day she was here, she gave my parents something for me to wear on my 15th birthday. It is a beautiful dress. It isn't showy, like the new seamstresses would make it. It is white, and gold, and she wore it in the War times. She wore it on her birthday too, when she finished lessons. She lived here all her life, just like I have. I suppose I will just do what she did after she finished lessons. I just realized there is nothing else for me to do here. Aunt Eowyn just lived here for 8 years after she finished lessons, and helped care for my great uncle Theoden when he was sick. There is no one sick here, but I guess I will live here just the same.

Well, I must get sleep for tomorrow. Papa actually talked to me today. I was standing near his throne before bedtime, and he chuckled as he looked at me. I glanced back. He smiled at me for the first time I recall since long before mama's death. He told me I have a big day tomorrow, and I need my rest. I will take his advice now. Goodnight…


End file.
